Auschwitz-Birkenau

When I was a teenager, my dad brilliantly encouraged me to write a list of "50 Things To Do Before I Die". Near the top of this list was to visit Auschwitz. When I told someone this in college they responded with the following question: "Did you torture small animals and insects when you were a kid?" It took me a while to understand this. To have a fascination with this portion of human history means to some that I am a sociopath. Interestingly, the word sociopath originates between 1940-1945, coincidence? I think not. I have had a fascination with Hitler's Holocaust since I was very young. I remember watching movies that my mom would bring home about survivors and the individuals who risked their lives to help others. I have always thought that I would have been a helper, a hider of Jews and a risk taker. I have sat in judgement as I watch documentaries, filmed by Russian and American troops as they parade locals through Auschwitz. The sincere look of shock, horror and disbelief on their faces has always confused me. I just could not believe that they did not know. How could they not know? Wasn't the constant smell of burnt flesh a trigger to question what was really going on down the street? Wasn't it odd that a train would cruise into town and stop, just beyond a building...and then smoke blacken the sky within hours? The bus ride to Auschwitz provided some answers. The countryside is beautiful. Gentle rolling green hills interspersed with forest and farms. It really is lovely. Auschwitz I is almost elegant in it's construction. It's solidly built brick buildings are simple, yet somehow inviting. The "showers" and crematorium are practically underground. They are inconspicuous. It's a prison camp. I could buy that explanation. It's much more humane looking than Manzanar (one of our very own disgraces of WWII). I could wrap my head around this just being a product of war.

In college, I read a book titled, Ordinary Men: Reserve Police Battalion 101 and the Final Solution in Poland. I began to understand what it takes to make ordinary men become killers. What it takes to convince them that what they are doing is for the betterment of humanity. That murdering people, sometimes entire towns, at point blank range, is benefiting the human race. My opinion began to waiver as to which character I would have played during The Holocaust. Side note, Holocaust means "a great or complete devastation or destruction, especially by fire; burnt offering", this is what sets Hitler's Holocaust apart from other genocides, the burning. In all honesty, I do not know what kind of person I would have been during Hitler's Holocaust. Truth is, I am an ordinary person. There really isn't anything extraordinary about me. I like to follow rules. I don't always question authority. I don't always trust others. I often prefer taking the easy route. So I'm not quite so sure if I would have risked my life to help save another. Food, heat, money was scarce at this time. I know that when I am hungry, I'm not so nice. When I'm cold, I eat more. I most certainly would not have wanted to share my meager food stashes. I don't know if I would have been able to put myself in another's shoes and felt compassion enough to act in a righteous way.

Auschwitz I

We arrived the day after World Youth Day came through Poland. The Pope and two million youthful believers came through this area and Auschwitz. We overheard a tour guide say that this was the busiest day in Auschwitz's history. We waited in line for three hours, made some friends and got tickets for the next tour, in Polish! Note: entry to Auschwitz is free, this is an agreement of the German government to not charge entry to any concentration camp so that they can inform the world of the holocaust. If you arrive to Auschwitz between the hours of 10:00 and 3:00 you will need to pay a minimal fee (roughly $7.50 per person) to join a guided tour; if you arrive before 10:00 or after 3:00 you can tour the camps for free and without a guide (April 1st through October 31st). I'd advise purchasing a guidebook from the book store, even if on a guided tour.

Auschwitz is actually three main camps, Auschwitz I, Birkenau or Auschwitz II and Monowitz or Auschwitz III. Monowitz was the first concentration camp to be financed and built by private industry, IG Farben. Using mostly prisoners of the other two camps, IG Farben used slave laborers from all over Europe to build their factory. They worked the laborers so hard that one fifth of them would die each month. They killed so many laborers that the camp never actually produced anything before it was taken by Soviet troops in 1945. Corporations were well aware of the cheap labor and abundance of laborers at Auschwitz and took full advantage. About 45 smaller sub camps were created, some had less than 12 prisoners, others had several thousand. These camps would pop up, the product produced and the camp would be shut down, transferring the laborers elsewhere, or to the gas chambers.

As I mentioned above, Auschwitz I is well preserved and well built. As in, it's quite nice to look at, albeit, wrapped inside tall barb wired double fences. I was nervous coming here. When I went to Dachau in '97 I was hit with deep sadness that lingered for hours after I left the camp. Auschwitz was different. This was alive with eagerness to teach the world of what happened here. It wasn't a happy place, but it wasn't as depressing as I had imagined. It is a difficult place to visit, but so incredibly important. There are sections that are more difficult than others. There were sections that made me feel scared. I felt the most scared going to the bathroom alone. The public restroom was at the end of one of the barracks, it was empty and dimly lit. I seriously contemplated peeing my pants but then thought of those who were forced to live here, what they lived through, witnessed, smelled, suffered and I decided that I was strong enough to go potty by myself. I don't know how visiting Auschwitz will effect you. It just will. This experience will change you, as it should, as it must.

Twice I was rocked to my core. It wasn't while walking the dungeonous chambers of Block 11 where the first mass killings by Zykon B gas took place; it wasn't in Block 20 where thousands of people were murdered, within seconds, of being injected in the heart with phenol; it wasn't at The Collective Gallows where 12 Polish men were hanged, in one push, because three prisoners tried to escape; it wasn't when I saw literally tons of human hair, or the blankets made from human hair, or the shoes, the luggage, the brushes, combs, dishes of the murdered. It was when I saw an artistic rendition of the process of death. The unassuming, trusting and possibly even relieved people heading to the showers. Little clay figures showed the procession: the disrobing, complete with lockers and soap so as to keep them calm under the belief that they were headed to shower, then, "the showers", the cleaning of "the showers", the piles of human corpses being transferred from the gas chamber and prepared for burning. This is when I cried. This is when I wanted to sob, wail, drop to the ground. I let the tears flow, silently.

After about two hours here we nearly walked right past the gas chamber and crematorium. It is inconspicuous. I was hesitant to walk through here. It is well preserved. Walking in I could easily believe that I was headed toward a shower. Stepping into the shower I may have questioned the placement and amount of shower heads. I may have questioned how they thought we'd all get clean, crammed in so tightly. I may have questioned the enclosed openings in the ceiling. This is where SS men, wearing gas masks, would dump Zyklon B (hydrogen-cyanide saturated granules) into the room. These granules, once met with warm air (from all the human bodies) would release the deadly gas, asphyxiating everyone in the room. This room is large. Easily fitting several hundred people. If you look to the wall, any of the four, you will see, high above your head, scratch marks from people clawing for air. They are the only living reminders of the innately human drive to survive. This is when I cried. Not when I went through the adjoining door to the ovens. By this point I was numb.

Auschwitz II - Birkenau

At least eleven million people died in the Nazi concentration camps. When we think of concentration camps, the rows of wooden bunks, over flowing with skeleton people; smoke billowing from tall chimneys; pits filled with human remains and ashes; row upon row of barracks; the picture above - these are the images that come to mind when we think of a Nazi concentration camp. This is all seen at Birkenau.

Birkenau is massive. It is so large that you can't grasp it's immensity by standing at the front gate, pictured above. Most of the barracks were destroyed, by the Nazi's as the Russians and Americans closed in. They were trying to hide what they had done here. They very nearly succeeded. Looking out, from when you first enter, are small chimneys, hundreds of them, perfectly aligned. They sit surrounded by grass covered foundations, the remains of the barracks. There are a few dozen that still remain in tact or have been reconstructed, and a chosen few you can go through, including one of the bathrooms.

Three rows, running the length of the barracks are wooden boxes, topped with holes several inches apart. So, to get a good visual, if you were sitting on one of the holes, you'd have a person on either side of you and behind you, close enough to pat the persons leg next to you and lean your back against the person behind you. A couple hundred people could be in here at the same time. It was very hot the day we were here, I can not begin to imagine the stench. The human waste would be hauled out in buckets by other prisoners.

When first crossing through the building pictured above you are faced with a single train track that quickly divides into three and abruptly stops. This is where selections occurred. Those who were chosen for the gas chamber walked forward toward one of the four crematoria. Not one remains in tact today, three were destroyed by the Nazi's as they fled the Russian troops. Crematoria IV, was rendered useless after prisoners attacked the SS and seriously damaged the crematorium. Some prisoners managed to get past the camp fence but they were all hunted down. In total, 450 prisoners and 3 SS men were killed. They knew they would be killed but continued with their effort, succeeding by significantly decreasing the camps capacity to burn up to 4,756 corpses per 24-hour period, with all five crematoria functioning.

The crematoria are located at the back of the camp. It takes some time to walk here. It's picturesque back here with grass, trees, birds chirping. Just past the barbed wire fence you can imagine freedom. Near crematorium II there are two small ponds where human ashes were dumped. There are several small ponds, or dried pits near each of the four crematoria. Some were used to burn corpses. Regardless of their purpose, they are terrifying to walk by. Passing by crematorium V I am acutely aware of the beauty of the surrounding birch forest. I begin to walk through here, to get back to the main path. My heart begins to race, my breathing and pace quicken. I don't like these trees, this grass, these puddle sized divots. I don't want to find human bones. I don't want to hear voices in these trees. When I arrive to the path, and Jason, I look back into the woods and see pictures strewn throughout. They are photographs of prisoners waiting in this birch forest, fully clothed, laughing and lounging. It almost looks like a picnic. They are waiting to die. There are just too many corpses to be burned, and so they unknowingly wait. Patiently.

About one sixth of all Jews killed during the holocaust were killed here, or roughly the entire city of San Jose, California.

At one point there were 90,000 prisoners living here, that is roughly the entire cities of Chico and Nevada City, California. It's too much for the human brain to grasp. The atrocities that occurred here are unthinkable. We must Never Forget. We must ask ourselves, what would we do if asked to take up arms against our neighbors. Will they be lifted with weapons or loaded with hugs?