Prague & Ostrava, Czech Republic

PRAGUE

I have wanted to visit Prague for as long as I can remember. When I thought of Prague, I thought of hot 6'+ super models. Not sure why, but I always thought all beautiful super models came from Prague, so with remnants of my child-brain, I was very excited to see these goddesses in the wild. It's ok, my wife is with me and excepts me for my idiotic ideologies. Let's just say, I was not disappointed in these tall glasses of water. I was so pleased with watching them in their natural environment that I forgot my other stereotype of Eastern European women, hairy armpits and b.o. But as I learned, Prague is way more than super models and hairy, smelly women. It is full of amazing architecture displayed throughout the city. It's like taking an architecture history class, just walking through the streets; Romanesque, gothic, renaissance, communist, and more, displayed as bridges, castles, cathedrals, cobblestone streets and red roofs covering the city.

View from our Airbnb

Tourism was definitely high while we were here as we were racing around the city trying to stay ahead of large tour groups, which we did, mostly because I was dragging Sheryl by the hair to stay out front. (This is why Sheryl's hair is so short now, may have pulled a little out). I do recommend traveling here while it's raining, it thins out the tourists. This was mostly appreciated on the Charles Bridge (pictured above) which is normally jam packed with people, vendors, and street performers. This is my favorite bridge of all of Europe. And although the people of Prague are not the most outgoing and smiley bunch, there is something to be said about their modesty and unpresummed charm. It is not that they are unfriendly, they just seem to go about their day and keep to themselves, which I can appreciate, especially with all the tourists invading their city. Prague is world famous for their beer and I was not disappointed. I always thought Munich and Belgium were the beer capitals of Europe. I was so focused on super models that I had disregarded their famous pilsners. Now, Prague is right up there with Munich and Belgium in regards to crafting a tasty, refreshing beer, but beats them when it comes to price. We were buying half liter bottles at the supermarket from $.30. This same beer, on tap, in a frosty mug at the local pub will cost you about $1.

You could also enjoy the beer with a more rich and sharp taste if you visited a local tank pub, where they don't pasteurize the beer and pour straight from the tank or keg it was brewed in. We had Pilsner Urquell at a tank pub and in my opinion it was a crisper, sharper, fresher tasting.

We have enjoyed many great cities along our journey. All have their great qualities and are rich in history, but I have to say Prague may be at the top of my list. (Sheryl's is Bolzano, Italy). This fairytale city with all the varieties of architecture, red rooftops, cobblestone covered streets, history, and amazing beer. Lets not forget about the beer! Now if this woman on the tram would put her hairy armpit down and take a shower this city would be perfect.

OSTRAVA - don't bother coming here. The end.

Elaboration: we stopped here to break up a long, slow train ride to Krakow. We got a hotel ($34, including breakfast) about a two minutes walk from the train station. As soon as we stepped onto the platform we were hit with sadness and some fear. Something about this third largest Czech city is off. Like calling your mom "mom", when she's also your sister...off. The hotel was nice enough, but questionable as to if it also rented rooms by the hour. Town was dead, everything was closed or completely moved out, closed for business. We didn't want to go too far. We wanted to hide in our room and not look for cum stains on the L-shaped couch. Hunger insisted that we leave the room; the hotel dinner menu insisted that we leave the hotel; the town encouraged us to use the buddy system, this is best demonstrated by walking quickly with upright posture, at a brisk pace. Make as little eye contact as possible and when the town drunks stumble across your path, just laugh demurely and quicken your pace, but don't run, they can smell fear, like dogs. Speaking of dogs, our dinner at the local kebab/pizza place (these are actually quite abundant throughout Europe and can be a delicious and filling treat...the kebab, not the pizza) was palatable and cheap, until we realized he shorted us $4 in change. To congratulate ourselves on our daring adventure, we treated ourselves with soft serve ice cream. These were not delicious. We are not quite sure what they were, certainly not a dairy product. English is not spoken here. Americans don't come here. Americans, don't come here. Not even for the free buffet breakfast.